


Thought

by horani



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28665393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horani/pseuds/horani
Summary: Yesung is not ok, being an idol for so many years, he can't take a breather.Hopefully there is someone who is patiently waiting for him. Something i wrote while Yehyuk week on Twitter was on. It's a short, a little more serious story about pain, longing and feelings (but how serious can it be when it's only 1k words long).
Relationships: Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Lee Hyukjae | Eunhyuk
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Thought

Yesung went inside his room closed the door and locked them. This shoulders slightly slouched as he sighed loudly. He felt nothing, his eyes closed as he slowly let his body fall down, placing his head on a door. Another day passed. He met some friends, laughed, posted Yesung's selcas, but now his job persona was left behind this door. Now he was Kim Jongwoon, a person nobody knew, someone he himself wasn't even familiar with.

He was tired, acting for over 15 years, being careful about his words, image, actions and personal life. Heh - he laughed slightly, what personal life? He couldn't even connect to other people as himself, be JongWoon without all those thoughts that haunted him all the time. Every night as he tried to sleep images showed before his eyes, the times he was genuinely happy, the times he faked it and times he was so hurt but could only stay silent.

He hated it, that's why watching movies and staying up till morning became his habit. Only at nights he was his true self and even then he wasn't able to just relax and let Yesung's ghost go. I want to cry, oh god why does it have to happen to me!? How can i endure this pain once again? l feel so alone, like I’m only dragging my members down.

Thought is a powerful thing, sometimes it's too powerful, to the point JongWoon was overwhelmed by it. Yesung was patient and strong, but JongWoon was not. He was fragile and easy to hurt. If only he could tell someone how he feels...

He felt his phone vibrating. A message from Hyukjae was shown on a screen.

PARK, IN 20 MINUTES

He didn't want to go, but he was aware there's no point in arguing with the younger. JongWoon pulled himself up, wiped his face, took the facemask and his bag. He didn't care about his outfit, it was 1 am, so no one will be there except for Hyukjae, and he's seen him in a much worse condition. He quietly unlocked his door and carefully left the apartment.

His walk to the park took him less than 15 munutes. He walked hurriedly and only felt the cold as he came to their secret place. A cold shiver ran through his spine. He was obviously underdressed for a late autumn weather in the middle of the night. As he tried to feel a little warmer by rubbing his arms, he was suddenly wrapped in a huge scarf.

"I knew you'd forget your coat, but i didn't expect you to wear nothing but a thin hoodie, hyung" a familiar voice said. JongWoon turned around and saw his Hyukjae, the one who comforted him all these years and was there for him, when his thoughts were dark and dangerous. A hint of a smile appeared in his eyes only for a moment, but Hyukjae clearly saw that.

"I was in a hurry" said the older and blushed a little.

"And that's my fault, i should've told you earlier, but I’ve just completed my schedule and wanted to see you as soon as i could" Hyukjae tried to brightened the atmosphere, but even his usual sweet words were not enough to earn him a genuine smile from his Woonie hyung. That could only meant that JongWoon was in a much worse state than usually. The younger was really concerned, he didn’t want to think what might've happened again if Woon was left alone that night.

"You've cried, haven't you? Why didn't you call me, or just text me, or whatever?! You know I'd be there Hyung, please try to lean on me even a little"

"I can't! You know I can't!" JongWoon shed a tear which only started a downfall of them and in a sheer minute the man was bawling his eyes. Immediately, a strong pair of hands cooped his cheeks and he felt a forehead touching his.

"You don't have to be strong, but please let me help you, that's all I ask you, you know i love you." That was unexpected, the men have said those words many times during interviews and purely for fan service reasons, but now it felt real. It wasn't Eunhyuk, it was Hyukjae who said the three words to JonWwoon.

The older didn’t hesitate, he placed his lips onto the younger, shyly kissing him. The peck longed only for a brief moment but made them overflow with feelings. Hyukjae was the one to break the kiss. He put his head further "Hyung, no, not like this, you need to talk to me, tell me your feelings first, I don't want to hope again if I’m just gonna be rejected later."

"That's not it Hyukkie, i love you, I’ve been referring to you as mine for as long as I can remember" Hyukjae's lips curved to a smile. "but" Hyukjae felt his heart breaking no, no buts, just let us be happy - he thought to himself over and over in his head.

"but I can't do it right now, I’m so messed up, I need a break. I love you and now I know it's mutual, but I need to get myself together, so I won't screw it up. Can you help me with that? I know it's so much to ask, I feel like all I’m doing is using you, you've given me so much time and your patience, and everything, and I’m just not..."

Hyukjae stopped his mumbling by placing his finger onto the older's philtrum. "Shhh, I know, I know hyung. I'll help you, I can wait, damn, I‘ve waited for 15 years, so it's not a problem. And I’ll be there, right there by your side, to support you, as you've supported me many times, you're worth it, you really are. "

At that moment everything felt right, he and his man in his arms, hugging and crying together. They were aware the journey ahead was long, bumpy and definitely not perfect, but heck, what is?

The end


End file.
